Is it time to trust the the big booty and the smile again?
So the other day I caught an episode of perhaps the dullest Real World season in the history of the franchise. The cast consists of A crazy gay man; fat head white boy; A naggy Russell Westbrook looking light skin girl; a AJ hawk look-alike; and a tough, yet not so tough white lesbian.
But then theres this girl that catches the Widows peak eyes as a possible wifey candidate.....Priscilla!
I tell my buddy in our ongoing pursuit of the perfect celebrity wifey: "Mya, Malaysia, Beyonce (his choice) has competition and she goes by the name of Priscilla!"
He responds: "R U KIDDING? there is nothing cute about her. If anything she's aight"
What irritated me the most is he said 'AIGHT' not 'ALRIGHT' big difference! Aight implys disrespect.
I said: "Look at her, she uh, uh, uh uh, she got uhhhh???". I just couldn't find what exactly it was that made her wifey like.
Then she smiled!
- The type of smile that would probably save Herman Cains chances as a Republican candidate!
- The type of smile that would end this damn NBA lockout
- The type of smile that would turn Drake from EMO to Crunk.
So it got me thinking... have we got it all wrong? When New Edition said don't trust a big booty and a smile, did they mean we should go after a flat booty and a frown? I say we give the smile another chance! We still gotta be a little cautious for the booty cause we know that can get us in trouble..ahem, ahem Kris Humphries.
So heres a guide to what I think should be the things in a women we search for before the booty. (no paticular order) and these attributes we could probably trust.
1. Her voice
If she sounds seductive, like WPGC 95.5 after 10PM, Then you should be a little skeptical. Other then that, for the most part the voice is pretty honest. It is what it is.
2. Trust Elegance and style/ not swagger
Women don't have swagger....You hear that Kreayshawn! women have style and elegance....if you come across a women with 'swagger' go the other way! A women with elegance and style, the type that doesn't even move when Tony Montana is played, but knocks everyone out the way when Single ladies comes on is the perfect wifey. lol
You can tell when you're looking into someones eyes if they've been through a lot... You should be able to read a girls eyes and see if she murdered anyone or is the nicest human every created.
4. Tattoos and where they go
Face (NO), Arms (NO) Legs (OK) back (OK) Random Places (Definite OK). Tattoos are becoming more and more common, and let you know whether a girl is creative or not! creativity in a girl is always a good thing!
If you follow these rules accordingly, you should end up with the perfect wifey. If you go after the ta tas, the booty, the lips, or the thighs first, its 50/50 like soulja boys chances of jailtime.
Playing the Percentages!